Last week a man, not known to us, arrived at our door asking to use the shower. This was all he wanted and he would be on his way. I was on my own at the time and said to the man, "you wont hurt me will you, I dont know you". He smiled and said I would never hurt you or anyone else. I let him in on that basis.

I let him in and gave him what he needed, what he asked for, just use of our showers and some soap. Before he left I invited him into my office to have a coffee and a chat. We talked for 2 hours, about this and that, progressively the discussion became deeper and intense. For 1.5 hours of those 2 hours the tears rolled down this lovely mans face. His account of loss and trauma and hurt and hopelessness.

In the end he asked if he really had to leave. No you dont have to leave I said, we have one bed left and we would love it if you stayed.

He is still with us, he has an amazing smile, an amazing story, an amazing Ora. He is predominantly unknown to services but should have been known by them years ago.

We were chatting again yesterday. He already appears so much lighter. He told me yesterday that his plan the day he came for a shower was to end it. That was it, he had a plan and he was not seeing another day. The pain, the loss the hopelessness had become just too much.

We could have let him use the shower, carried on with our work, and said goodbye politely, after all, he wasn't asking to stay or for any other help. He did in fact smile, and say he was all good thank you.

I tell you this because if the Tauranga City Council are dedicating staff to educate and support rough sleepers to access services such as ours (due to the bylaw) then maybe people get the help they need.

People have to start somewhere, we have to encourage and educate, both rough sleepers, our community and services who should provide care. We must relax our criteria, take lessons in meaningful engagement, and have a "talk to me, tell me anything, you are safe with me" tattoo on our foreheads. When this information is given to us we must follow through, take more time, follow up, remain interested, remain empathetic and compassionate.